Two-Ply Strawberry Pie

My Venture into Bad Poetry
Today's recipe is really easy-to-make and tastes great, too. It's got two things I really love…cream cheese and strawberries. This is actually a combination of two recipes (slightly adapted) that I found in my mother's recipe box many years ago. I last made this pie when I was a teenager and forgot all about it. It's so good, I need to start making it more often.

For those of you who regularly read my blog, you might recall that I have an annoying neighbor whom I affectionately call Fitch. You can read my earlier rant about Fitch in my Nacho Cheesy Chili posting a few weeks ago. I continue to run into her every now and then. I decided to write about a recent run-in I had with Fitch but I wanted to give it a little Christmas flair. I'm so busy right now with Christmas baking, I wasn't sure I would have time to write something creative. I decided to go for it and wrote a poem ala "Twas the Night Before Christmas." This was hard because I don't normally write poetry! Given how busy I am right now, you're lucky I didn't take the easy way out and just write a Christmas haiku. Anyway, this is my first attempt at blog poetry. Enjoy – and have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever special holiday you might be celebrating in the coming weeks!

Twas the Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

With the cookies baked and my pantry now bare,
I slouched on my sofa with my feet in the air

While watching the news, a book spread on my lap,
Exhausted from cooking, I wanted to nap

When out in the hallway there arose such a clatter,
I heard high heels clapping and loud, angry chatter

Away to the door I flew like a flash,
I slipped on my book and almost fell on my ash

I peered through the peephole for someone I knew,
It was Fitch and her dog – a feisty shih tzu

It's tail in the air, my eyes could not believe,
It was pooing in the hallway on Christmas Eve

Swallowing hard and getting really sick,
I covered my mouth and wished it was St. Nick

That clueless blond! No, that half-witted vixen!
Oh, what kind of drugs had she been mixin'?

Throwing the door open, I stood there appalled,
Assured my ankles would soon to be mauled

Seeing my nemesis, my anger now grew,
As I stood there staring at freshly laid poo

Flustered and uneasy and not knowing what to say,
She wished me Merry Christmas and a glorious day

She picked up her dog when assured he was through,
Saying "Would you get that Sweetie?" as she bid me adieu.

She offered me advice as she went down the hall,
You best clean that up fast, lest someone might fall.

Merry Christmas!

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Two-Ply Strawberry Pie
(Printable Version)

1 prepared Graham Cracker Crust (the large one -- 10")

Bottom Layer:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup milk
1 TBSP lemon juice
1 3 3/4 oz box of pudding (I prefer coconut but vanilla, lemon, or cheesecake all work well)

Top Layer:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup of frozen strawberries in sugar, thawed in the refrigerator
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups whipped topping (about 1/2 of an 8 oz container)

In a mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. In a separate bowl, combine the milk, lemon juice, and pudding. Whisk until thoroughly combined. Slowly add about 1/3 of the mixture to the cream cheese and beat until smooth – scraping the bowl as needed. Slowly add the remaining pudding mixture. Spoon the mixture into the graham cracker crust and smooth out the top. Refrigerate for 30 minutes before preparing the top layer.

To prepare the top layer, beat the cream cheese and sugar until smooth (preferably using the whisk attachment on your mixer). The mixture must be absolutely smooth. Slowly add the thawed strawberries and their juice, scraping the bowl as needed. Add the vanilla and continue mixing until combined. Finally, add the whipped topping until just combined. Spoon the mixture on top of the bottom layer and decoratively swirl the top. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours or until the pie has set up completely.